another round

The next round of visitors arrived today - I think this is round 3. This time it is my dad. Its a little strange hosting a parent. I've never even had a family member over for dinner before, never mind staying at my place for a week. Maybe that means that I'm that much closer to being an adult. But I don't have a guest room, an extra bed for him to sleep in, or any food for him to eat, so hopefully that means I'm not quite there yet.

mondays

Good mondays are tough to come by. Today was a good one. I wonder when the next one will come around :)

too much to say

I have way too much to say today. Unfortunately, I think I'd get in trouble for most of it... so I have to keep my mouth shut. My brain, on the other hand won't shut up. But to sum it up, my brain says: what the hell? And not in the mean, why the hell did you do that sort of way, but more in the I'm confused, all of these things don't add up sort of way. This confusion spans multiple dimensions. Usually its just one person or thing at a time does something to confuse me. But this time it seems like multiple things and people have ganged up on me, although they're all completely independent of one another. Like I said, it just leaves me thinking, what the hell? Oh well. I guess it keeps things interesting and my brain busy. But on to my rant for the day: Why is it suddenly christmas everywhere? I don't particularly like christmas. I mean, I enjoy getting to see my family and stuff and this year that'll be good since I won't have seen a bunch of them for 6 months but other than that, I say bah humbug. I saw santa claus today - its november, november 12th in fact. And who knows how long he's been there already. It's over a month early! That means we have to spend more than 1/12 of a year having christmas shoved in our faces - no thank you. Go back to the north pole and stay there until at least december 12th!

PS
I just sat down and turned on the tv to see what was on... how the grinch stole christmas. its november 12th!!

rain!

So its raining. If you think that's not quite worthy of a blog entry then you don't live where I do and if you do, oh well. Its rained a little bit 2 or 3 times since I moved here but I think this is the first time its rained this hard (not that its raining hard at all). I can actually hear the rain though. The other good news is that my windshield wipers still work and the rainX that my dad put on my window over 4 months ago is still working its magic. RainX is good stuff - one of those few "as seen on tv" things that actually works. Try it. It's especially useful in the winter - it makes scraping ice and snow off much easier, not that it should be much of a concern here. But I do hear that it rains here in the winter. Anyways, I almost just went out and stood there for a while and walked in the few puddles that had started to form but then I got distracted. Maybe next time.

giving up

How many times should you fail at something before you give up? Maybe never. Maybe you keep getting back up and trying again. That's at least what they tell you when you're in elementary school. How many times do they tell you something like: "you can do anything you want if you put your mind to it"? I've certainly heard it lots. But what does that really mean? What if I don't know how to put my mind to something? Then how do I get what I was looking for? And what is that phrase supposed to apply to? Is it supposed to mean that I can be a doctor, an engineer, a teacher, or a salesman? I would make a terrible salesman but then again I've never had any desire to be one. Does it only apply to jobs? Or can it apply to relationships to? Can I be a wife or a mother if I try hard enough? My pessimistic side says no. That's crazy. Just because I want to get married some day doesn't mean I can. Or perhaps I can if I don't care if I'm happy or not. I guess I could just marry the first guy who would take me, but maybe there isn't even one of those. And there's no saying I can have kids either. If there is something wrong with me so that I can't have children that makes things tough, but then maybe I could adopt. But at some point you give up right? There are only so many options and so much money. You can only fail so many classes before you decide that a profession just isn't worth it. And you can only chase after someone for so long before you finally take the hint that they're not interested. But what if you go for something and get it. And then it sucks or you're just not good enough for it. How long do you pretend that you are good enough before you give up? How long can you convince yourself that you belong somewhere that you clearly don't?