almost...

Almost time to head home for the holidays (I've always wanted to say that, now that I live far away I can). All I can say at this point is that it should be an interesting trip.

huh

I finished the book I was reading last night and I'm too tired to start another so seems like time to write instead. I spent last weekend with my dad who was out visiting for Thanksgiving. We spent quite a bit of time driving around and got to see and do a whole bunch of new things. I really like the ocean - its fun to watch and listen to and its peaceful but also threatening at the same time. I just like it. Perhaps I've said this before.
There's probably more I should write but its late, actually bordering on early so its quitting time. Maybe more later.

another round

The next round of visitors arrived today - I think this is round 3. This time it is my dad. Its a little strange hosting a parent. I've never even had a family member over for dinner before, never mind staying at my place for a week. Maybe that means that I'm that much closer to being an adult. But I don't have a guest room, an extra bed for him to sleep in, or any food for him to eat, so hopefully that means I'm not quite there yet.

mondays

Good mondays are tough to come by. Today was a good one. I wonder when the next one will come around :)

too much to say

I have way too much to say today. Unfortunately, I think I'd get in trouble for most of it... so I have to keep my mouth shut. My brain, on the other hand won't shut up. But to sum it up, my brain says: what the hell? And not in the mean, why the hell did you do that sort of way, but more in the I'm confused, all of these things don't add up sort of way. This confusion spans multiple dimensions. Usually its just one person or thing at a time does something to confuse me. But this time it seems like multiple things and people have ganged up on me, although they're all completely independent of one another. Like I said, it just leaves me thinking, what the hell? Oh well. I guess it keeps things interesting and my brain busy. But on to my rant for the day: Why is it suddenly christmas everywhere? I don't particularly like christmas. I mean, I enjoy getting to see my family and stuff and this year that'll be good since I won't have seen a bunch of them for 6 months but other than that, I say bah humbug. I saw santa claus today - its november, november 12th in fact. And who knows how long he's been there already. It's over a month early! That means we have to spend more than 1/12 of a year having christmas shoved in our faces - no thank you. Go back to the north pole and stay there until at least december 12th!

PS
I just sat down and turned on the tv to see what was on... how the grinch stole christmas. its november 12th!!

rain!

So its raining. If you think that's not quite worthy of a blog entry then you don't live where I do and if you do, oh well. Its rained a little bit 2 or 3 times since I moved here but I think this is the first time its rained this hard (not that its raining hard at all). I can actually hear the rain though. The other good news is that my windshield wipers still work and the rainX that my dad put on my window over 4 months ago is still working its magic. RainX is good stuff - one of those few "as seen on tv" things that actually works. Try it. It's especially useful in the winter - it makes scraping ice and snow off much easier, not that it should be much of a concern here. But I do hear that it rains here in the winter. Anyways, I almost just went out and stood there for a while and walked in the few puddles that had started to form but then I got distracted. Maybe next time.

giving up

How many times should you fail at something before you give up? Maybe never. Maybe you keep getting back up and trying again. That's at least what they tell you when you're in elementary school. How many times do they tell you something like: "you can do anything you want if you put your mind to it"? I've certainly heard it lots. But what does that really mean? What if I don't know how to put my mind to something? Then how do I get what I was looking for? And what is that phrase supposed to apply to? Is it supposed to mean that I can be a doctor, an engineer, a teacher, or a salesman? I would make a terrible salesman but then again I've never had any desire to be one. Does it only apply to jobs? Or can it apply to relationships to? Can I be a wife or a mother if I try hard enough? My pessimistic side says no. That's crazy. Just because I want to get married some day doesn't mean I can. Or perhaps I can if I don't care if I'm happy or not. I guess I could just marry the first guy who would take me, but maybe there isn't even one of those. And there's no saying I can have kids either. If there is something wrong with me so that I can't have children that makes things tough, but then maybe I could adopt. But at some point you give up right? There are only so many options and so much money. You can only fail so many classes before you decide that a profession just isn't worth it. And you can only chase after someone for so long before you finally take the hint that they're not interested. But what if you go for something and get it. And then it sucks or you're just not good enough for it. How long do you pretend that you are good enough before you give up? How long can you convince yourself that you belong somewhere that you clearly don't?

yosemite! (and some other random nonsense)

I've been writing way too much lately which means that if anyone actually reads this thing they might have an idea of what I'm really thinking. I don't think its quite possible to put all the pieces together yet though, especially since I have a hard time doing that myself and I live inside my thoughts.
But anyways, I had visitors this past week which gave me a great excuse to get out, be a tourist and take some pictures. It was a super busy week, but that turned out to work to my advantage. Being busy works well when you don't want to be distracted by other things.
Last weekend we went to Yosemite. There was lots of driving on windy, hilly roads but I enjoyed it and my passengers didn't get too sick...and they claimed that it wasn't my driving, just the windy roads. Perhaps they were just being polite - I'm not so sure. I got to climb on a bunch of the rocks in the picture. A lot of the time there's a waterfall running through there but at this time of year things are pretty dry. It would be nice to go back in the spring and see the difference. The other picture is just kind of neat. It looks like a perfect fall day - sunny with a deep blue sky. It looks crisp like the fall days that they get back in New England. I like being a tourist sometimes. I guess I'm looking forward to having more visitors then because that's what motivates me to do that kind of stuff. Next one comes in just over 3 weeks. I'll have to start thinking of things to do. I know I say this a lot but time is flying! I think I need to start a list, or maybe a few different lists. Between the movies I need to see, books I need to read, and places I want to visit, I can't remember them all.
I picked up some books yesterday so that should keep me more busy at bedtime. Instead of sitting down in front of the computer and writing to nobody and not falling asleep, I'll actually be able to read. I haven't really read much in the past two weeks or so and I definitely got less sleep because of it. Nothing puts me to sleep quite like reading a regular old book. Maybe in 10 years, when I've forgotten that I went to places like Yosemite at all, I'll actually appreciate this blog as a reminder. I guess that's motivation to keep posting...

a little more baseball

So the season is officially over. This is the least attention I've paid to a season since I can remember. I blame California. I made it home last night to see the last batter of the game, but that's the only part of the entire world series I saw. It just wasn't exciting. I wasn't sitting on the edge of my seat, biting my nails, grabbing the arm of the person next to me, holding my breath or covering my eyes. There were no phone calls from people that I know are *always* asleep at that time of night, no honking horns, people out and about in the streets, or lights on in every window. There were no yankees to route against. That was last year when the sox were red. But now, in true sox fan fashion, its time to look ahead to next season and see what they can come up with. There's always next year. And out of curiosity, since I'm on the subject, I need to figure out what happened to the "reverse curve" turned "reverse the curse" sign on Storrow. I used to drive that way a bunch but I can't remember if it ever got changed.

And on a completely unrelated note: I really like eating dinner outside in the dark. (This is mostly a note to me so I don't forget.)

a bit of a beating

Work seems to be beating me up lately. I finally thought I had a handle on things and then bam its like day one all over again. Although, really its not, it just seems like it sometimes... I've learned a ton so far its just that there is just a lot more to learn. If someone had given me my current project during my first week I would have been 150% lost whereas now its only about 75% and another few months from now I'd probably be down to about 40%. So I'm making progress, just not as quickly as some of the others. I know I've only been working for 4 months but its hard to see how people can get sick of their jobs. Everything is so dynamic and every day is different. Don't get me wrong, there are still times when I feel like tossing my two 24 in. monitors (I am very spoiled) out the window because I'm frustrated. But those times pass quickly and can mostly be blamed on C++ letting me shoot myself in the foot. My feet have lots of holes in them - its a good thing I'm still kind of young (depending on who you ask) so they heal pretty quickly.

Distracted

Its been a little while... In some ways lots has happened and in some ways nothing. I got that first phone call since I moved where I just wanted to be able to go home... But, since home is pretty far away these days, I couldn't. It's not like I could have done anything had I been there, but it would have been nice. I knew it was going to happen at some point - I just kind of hoped it wouldn't. It's called denial - I've pretty much perfected it. It's a good defense until it catches up with you and it doesn't do that too often. But next time, when the news is worse I'll be more prepared.
I keep getting distracted though which isn't so good for productivity and I like being productive. I'm trying to break that though. I beat it out of myself by running (if you can call my snail's pace running) a couple of times which was useful and productive. Then I got sick (I even had a slight fever :) ) and did nothing. Now that I've kicked the cold maybe I'll have to give it another try... otherwise I'm not going to get anything done again.

baseball

I like baseball. People in california don't seem to understand the baseball obsession. It's kind of hard to get used to - its very exciting to find people that are even remotely interested. I miss the red sox being on all the time - its not quite as satisfying to watch espn's score keeping thing on my computer. Although tonight's game was pretty exciting even though I wasn't really watching. I think I might have scared the people at work though or at least given them more reason to think I'm crazy. I guess it was really only a matter of time. I keep trying to keep my excitement of baseball in check but it just keeps popping out :) If you're a sox fan, how could you not be excited about the last series of the season vs. the yankees that decides who makes the playoffs?

no more stomping

Over the past week or two I've been noticing that I haven't been woken up in the mornings. I didn't think much of it, well, except that it was nice not to have to put earplugs in. But now I think I've figured out why - I think my neighbors moved out. It took me 2 weeks to notice - that seems like kind of a long time. Oh well. Hopefully the new people (whenever they get here) are cool - not that I'm really ever here to notice them so mostly I just hope that they don't keep me awake :) Anyways, since I'm home early maybe I should do something other than sit in front of the computer... or maybe I'll go sit in front of the other computer and try to get some work done ...

2 heads (minus the aches) are better than 1

2 migraines in the past 10 days - that's a first. The second one turned out to be much more convenient than the second though. I was with the same people both times - perhaps there's a lesson to be learned there both by me and by them ;) As you probably could guess, when you notice right away, its dark and you are 5 minute drive from home things tend to work out better than when you're dehydrated, haven't eaten anything, its super sunny, and there's a long windy road between you and home. The weird thing is I don't even feel stressed out which is supposedly what causes them. There's a really good amount of stress in my life these days and its the kind of stress I like - the kind I would miss if it were gone. I need to have this kind of stress - its necessary for me to be me. Even "KaliforniaKate" needs it :)

a new set of wheels

As I was out running errands today I passed by a bike shop, stopped in and bought myself a bike. It was sort of an impulse buy although after walking to work one time I started thinking that having a bike would be much more efficient. 3 hrs of walking is not nearly as good of a use of time as 50 minutes of biking. So now I have one and a nifty little light to go with it since I never seem to leave work before it gets dark. Not even today, when my only real reason for going to work in the first place was to see how long it would take me to ride there, did I leave before dark. But, it was good since I got some work done, had a reason to ride my new bike, played a new game and got one of my favorite dinners :) How can you want to stay away?

trees and books

I'm no longer afraid to look in my fridge and there's no gross water in my sink anymore. I also accomplished my other goal for the weekend, which was to see a redwood tree. Some of the details from the trip are a bit hazy... but I made it home and the proof is in the pictures. I suppose that makes it a successful weekend.
But before I stop, here's a little bit of an unnecessary and mostly irrelevant sidetrack - a couple of weeks ago, while I was waiting at the airport for my delayed plane, I read a fun book that turned out to be all about the little secrets that you try to keep from other people. The ones you keep from all people - doesn't really matter how well you know them or if you even know them at all. Some of them are silly, some of them are things you would never dream of telling someone else or letting them see, and some are ones that you sometimes just can't keep in no matter how hard you try. The book was about how people end up finding these things out and what happens when they do. It was a good, quick, summer read and surprisingly relevant this weekend. I guess when those things come out it usually is a surprise because it certainly isn't intentional to let them out.

Notes from today:

1. my kitchen sinks are filled with gross, smelly water. maybe its time to call someone about that.
2. don't forget the '-r'
3. a random group of authors makes an interesting band.
4. unfortunately some fish actually tastes like fish.
5. i'm afraid to open my fridge.

fun and games

I played some games tonight after work since apparently there are lots of games at work. It just keeps getting better. How can you not like my work and why would you ever want to work somewhere else? Anyways, cool games although my spatial relationship skills need some work. :) Why had nobody ever introduced these games to be before?

back to normal

Well the last two weeks were super busy with work and going to Boston. I don't know how people travel every week. Two weeks in a row is enough for me. I suppose if it wasn't a 6 hour flight and a 3 hour time change it might be a little easier. It was good to be back in Boston though - its a great city and I could spend hours just walking around. It'll be interesting to see if I ever end up back there...
The summer has flown by! Labor day is coming up soon and I'm not going back to school - first time in 20 years. It's a little wierd not having a 4 or 2 year schedule. What am I going to be doing in 4 years? Who knows - I sure don't have a clue :)

today is?

I think I've finally sorted out what day it is. I'm not sure what screwed me up this time. It could have been taking the red eye, or maybe it was not being at work on a friday, or perhaps it was only having slept 4 out of 85 hours.

I came back home for the weekend so I could go to a wedding last night. It's probably been over 10 years since I went to one. It was really nice. It was at a great little spot on the water in Maine. It's a little strange that my friends are starting to get married though - it can only mean that I'm starting to get old.

Now that I've slept for 11 hours (yikes!), I'm off to visit my family. It's pretty hot and humid so maybe we'll go swimming :)

1st post

Here's my first try and blogging. I'm not sure it'll catch on but it seems like a good thing to try now that I'm in a new place. Maybe it'll help me keep track of the stuff I've been up to. So here's an overview of the last month or so since I moved (apologies if this gets kind of long).

So I picked up and moved from the east coast to the west coast in mid june. Definitely a big move for me seing as I've always been a new englander but california is great. You really can't beat this weather. I certainly don't miss humidity. Maybe at some point I'll miss the snow... but for now I'm happy. As far as the cold goes, I'm quickly becoming a wimp. When the temperature is much below 72, I'm freezing.

I started work not long after moving - my first real job. Even now, after a month, its still a little overwhelming. There's so much information to digest and its always busy. But, I love it. It's hard to imagine working anywhere else. I'm working on a very visible part of the company which is pretty exciting. I made a change the other day that millions of people saw - it was really simple but still kind of neat that I was responsible.

It is nice to be in a new place - there are so many new places and things to see and do. I've taken a bunch of day trips to santa cruz, half moon bay, point lobos, and san francisco, and they've all been great. If I ever move up to san francisco, I found the place I want to live. Not that I'll ever be able to afford it but its still nice to think about. If I moved there, I'd definitely have to take up sailing because its right on the water and the sailors I saw the other day really seemed to be enjoying themselves.

That's it for now. I'm off to do some reading :)